Over My Head
by xStarxWolfx
Summary: Saix loves Xemnas, but can't seem to tell him. Demyx steps in and solves that! OOC Saix, XemnasxSaix, yes I do suck at summaries...don't judge me...
1. Thinking

I sat there thinking.

About what?

That was a stupid question. What did I always think about?

Him.

Of course, I knew that it was foolish. Nobodies can't -don't- feel emotions. And being the loyal member I am, I never show emotions.

Except for him.

He makes me feel all warm inside. I can't really explain it. He makes my heart pound every time I see him. Funny thing is, I don't have one. He…makes me feel like I do.

Of course the most obnoxious, idiotic Nobody I have ever met comes right then.

"Hey Saix!" Number IX greeted, coming over to the couch to sit with me. I never really understood why he follows me like this sometimes. Maybe he's stupid. Or doesn't value his life much. Either way, he always manages to get on my nerves after a while.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked.

"Thinking," I gruffly replied. He had to come _now?_

"Oh." He paused for a minute. "About what?"

"Nothing," I snapped. "Leave me alone."

He just kept on going. "Hmm...is it about…Kingdom Hearts?"

"No." I hated that wretched moon. It always manages to capture his attention.

"…hearts in general?"

"No." Why won't he leave me alone!?

"The moon!" He said it like he got it right.

"No!" I said it a little more sharply, a little more than I probably should have.

"Oh." He thought for a minute. "…Xemnas?"

I paused. I wasn't a liar. I didn't lie. It wasn't in my nature to. But I didn't want him to know.

"Hah! I got it!" Demyx said cheerfully. "…you like him, don't you?"

I grunted and buried my head in my arms. Great. Did the whole castle know!?

"Hey…y'know, it's not that bad…" he poked my shoulder and I growled at him. Why did he insist on annoying me further!? "Leave me be, IX!" I snarled, using his number for emphasis. The Nocturne shrunk back, but not for long. "So tell me everything!"

I rolled my golden eyes. "Certainly not!"

"Aww, why not?" he whined.

"Because…" I paused, not having an answer. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Demyx shifted more comfortably in the couch. "Nope. Now tell me."

I sighed. IX was _not _going to go away anytime soon. "What do you want to know?"

"Did you tell him?"

"Of course not!"

"Why not?"

"Why not!? Demyx, he is the _Superior! _By showing emotions, especially for him, is showing disloyalty to our cause and the Organization. He wouldn't hesitate to eliminate me." The words came spilling out of my mouth before I could control them. I had certainly thought about that a lot.

"But," Demyx argued. "You're his most loyal!"

"I know," I spoke softer. "I would never, never doubt him. But…he can sometimes be…"

"Stubborn?" Demyx guessed.

I sighed. But that was one of the things I fell in love with. "Yes."

Demyx folded his arms and leaned back in the couch. "Well…you're going to have to tell him sometime."

I panicked. "W-what? No, I can never-"

"He's going to figure out." I never knew IX could be so demanding, especially to a superior. But I had my own comeback.

"I'm good at concealing my emotions," I half-lied. I just wasn't good at concealing my emotions around _him._

"Still…" Demyx thought for a minute. "You want him, right?"

"More than anything," I murmured without thinking.

"Then it's settled!" Nine clapped his hands together. "We're going to figure out a way you can tell him without him killing you!" And he said it so cheerfully. When I glanced back at him, he vanished in a portal. I was left confused and frustrated.

I am in _way_ over my head.

-

A/N: Wow, that sucked xD OOC Saix much? It gets better, I promise! …maybe

Reviews are always helpful! ^^ (Favs work too though)

(And yes this is my way of making up because I completely forgot it was XemSai day. Now I have to go to bed.)


	2. Revelations

I stalked through the hallways of the castle, depressed and thinking. I thought a lot. I don't really have a lot to do around here besides missions.

Looking out the window, I noticed it wasn't raining. Strange, it seemed this place rained endlessly.

"It's a fine day," I murmured without thinking. It reminded me of a certain song IX once sang, although the vocals were a female's.

"It is, isn't it?"

I froze. That voice was unmistakable. That soft, velvety, smooth. . .

Xemnas.

I turned around slowly, trying to avoid eye contact. I bowed deeply. "Superior," I greeted politely, though my voice was very rough. I hoped he couldn't hear my heart (my literal one, mind you) beating about a thousand miles a minute.

"Saix," he greeted back. I loved it when he said my name. The way he said it just . . . pardon the irony, but it set my heart on fire. I tried to make conversation so I could hear the voice more. "Do you need something?" Okay, that one might send him away. But at least I'd get to hear his voice, right?

"Mm? No. Do I need an excuse to see my second-in-command?" he answered.

I blushed and looked away quickly. I hoped he hadn't seen that. "N-no," I stuttered. Nice one, Saix. "I . . . well, it just surprised me because usually you have something for me to do. . ."

"Hmm." Xemnas didn't seem to notice my anxiety. Thank God. He continued. "I do, don't I?" he muttered to himself. Speaking louder, he addressed me. "If you'll excuse me, Saix, I have some things to do." Then he disappeared.

Well, that went well.

I sighed and ran my gloved (and clawed) hands through my azure hair. Then my happy little sun came to greet me.

"Hey Saix!" he said, happy as ever. Does the kid ever get tired?

"Demyx," I replied, still a little shaken from my meeting with Xemnas. Demyx noticed.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Hey dude, we're friends now! Friends don't keep secrets."

"Since when are we friends?"

"Since yesterday!" Demyx had this pure bliss look on his face. Stupid kid.

"I can't remember saying anything about being friends."

"Yeah, but. . ." Demyx frowned.

"Don't you have Axel or someone else to be around?"

"No." Demyx frowned even deeper. "He's got Roxas. And Roxas has him. Zexion (A/N: Word tried to correct this with Sexton! XD) always has his nose in a book. Everyone else is too old or scary."

I frowned; I didn't know he had such a problem with the rest of the Organization. "Um, Demyx?"

"Yeah?"

"I believe I fit both of those descriptions." I wasn't exactly young anymore. And my fragile sanity probably fit under the 'scary' definition.

"Yeah, but . . . I just figured since . . . you and the others don't really get along. . ."

I got it. He was lonely, and so was I. Perfect friendship? Not likely.

"Demyx, are you aware I cannot control my actions under the full moon and furthermore at all, and that's maybe why the Organization stays away from me? I believe VIII put it as 'male PMS'."

Demyx considered this. "Well yeah, but. . ."

"But what? Do you just not value your life that much?" I challenged.

"Well . . . I think that if you just open up a little more. . ."

I thought about it. Well, it's like I had a lot to do anyway. "What did you have in mind?"

Demyx brightened considerably. "We could go to Twilight Town! Yeah! C'mon!"

He grabbed my hand and we went through a portal together.

A/N: Well that wasn't so bad right? xD I'm sorry for being so bad at these things ^^;;; Also I promise the next chappy won't be as short…

Also I'm sorry for now updating, I do have… two, three stories to do over at deviant ART so I'm not as active as some other people(no, I'm not uploading it here, there's a ton of OCs and the story revolves around them; it wouldn't get really good review here at ). Also thanks to the people who faved this! I…can't think of the names right now(and I feel terrible) but I think one of them is **Diviner's Superior**, aaaand….um, another one who faved today….I'm so sorry, I'm drawing a blank…

…if you review I'll remember…(yes this is a shameless ploy to get you to review… but it almost worked, didn't it? You were just about to hit that green button below…yes, that one…c'mon, it doesn't bite…xD)

~Star


	3. You Want Me To Do What?

**A/N: Putting this at the top for once! Okay, so thanks to all who faved and reviewed! That meant a lot(and was my inspiration to actually work on this thing)! As you can see, this is a longer(and better) chapter this time :3 Sorry for those who suffered through the first two XD **

---

Demyx ended up taking me to Twilight Town (against my will) to 'have fun and chill out'.

"Hmm," he muttered.

"What?"

"Dude, you have blue hair."

"So?" It wasn't like I _chose_ to have that color.

"People are gonna notice!"

"And? What are you going to do? Dye my hair?"

"Hmm…"

"No." I was sorry I had given him the idea.

"Aww. Oh well, I have another idea."

He took my hand and led me to the accessory shop. The girl there took a look at my hair and turned back to Demyx.

"Can I help you?" she asked politely.

"One hat please," Demyx replied. "That one." He pointed to a black baseball cap.

He wanted me to wear that!?

The girl handed it over and Demyx paid her. He turned to me with a grin.

"No. There is no way in _hell_ I am-"

"C'mon, take it like a man." He got on the balls of his feet and put the hat on backwards. I looked at myself in a mirror on the door of the shop.

"Do you like it?"

"No. I look ridiculous."

"Aww, c'mon Saïx! You look awesome!" He eyed my black Organization coat. "Now you need some clothes to match."

"Oh, no."

"Yeah! C'mon!"

Somehow, despite my protests, we ended up in the clothing shop. Demyx picked out tight fitting black jeans and a white top for me while he went with blue jeans and a hoodie. When he was done picking out our clothes, he shoved me into the dressing room and threw the clothes over the top.

Grudgingly, I tried on the jeans first. I looked even more ridiculous than when I wearing that hat! I tried on the t-shirt next; it wasn't as bad, but I looked like some goth reject from high school. I poked my head outside, where Demyx was staring at himself in a mirror. He caught my eye.

"Saïx! Dude, you look awesome!"

"Why did you do this me!?" I asked, exasperated. "I look so stupid!"

His expression turned from happy to shocked, but then he was happy again. "That's the style now. Now put on that hat and give me the clothes to I can pay for them."

I rolled my eyes, but thanked him for paying. Grabbing the hat and putting on my clothes, I muttered something very low so Demyx's innocent ears couldn't hear.

I turned back to the mirror and smoothed out my coat. Demyx, although annoying, irritating, and all-around stupid, was actually a pretty good friend, though I'm still wondering what will happen when I solve things with Xemnas. Speaking of Xemnas and my mind wandering where it shouldn't, my sub-conscious decided now was a good time to torture me.

Xemnas appeared behind me, his arms draped over my shoulders and his breath on my neck. Even though I know he was just a figment of my imagination, I felt my breath hitch. He ran his lips up my neck; my body tensed in response, and my heart worked overtime, beating about a million miles a minute.

Then Demyx poked his head through the door, and my imaginary Xemnas glanced at him through half-lidded eyes(which, I have to admit, were _sexy_) before disappearing. He must have seen the shocked expression on my face, for he matched it with a worried one.

"You okay?" he asked.

I stared at him, my expression unchanging. I wasn't mad at him(no one can get mad at Demyx, not even _me_), just surprised. He frowned, then brightened. "I know what'll cheer you up!"

"You want _me_ to ride _that_!?"

It was a skateboard. White with blue swirls in a rather strange design. Well, strange to me.

"Yeah! Why not?"

"I'll break my neck on that thing!" In fact, my friends back when I was a Somebody voted me most likely to fall on my face on my first date. Which, of course, I didn't have a chance to get before my heart was taken.

"Aw, c'mon! Here, just do this." He mounted his own skateboard and pushed off with his right foot. He skated circles around me(literally) and then did a heel flip and grinded down the guardrail. He twisted around and skidded to a stop right in front of me.

I stared at him, raising an eyebrow.

He raised his hand in defense. "Okay, first the basics. Get on."

I snorted, but put one foot on the board. It squeaked and rolled a little under me. Next I tried the other foot. That didn't go too well. The board tried to get away by rolling, so I lost my balance and fell backwards onto my back. Ow.

Demyx was there in an instant. He has a serious look on his face, not laughing or making fun of me. He offered his hand.

"You okay?"

Hmm. I took his hand and he helped me up. "No," I muttered.

"You'll get used to it, don't worry. Here, try it again."

A did, and what do you know? Nothing changed except the direction I fell. I rested my head in my hand and tapped my fingers on the ground, glaring at Demyx.

"You just have to balance!" Demyx told me.

I got back up and on the skateboard again, this time I found my center of balance. The skateboard shook, threatening to roll off again, but I stood straight.

"Good! Now push off with your right foot."

He wanted me to get off again? I huffed, but complied. When I pushed off gently, I could feel the board rolling slowly underneath me. I looked back to see Demyx give me a thumbs-up. "Great job!"

"Yes. One problem."

"What?"

"I don't know how to stop."

This proved to be an important step, as I was quickly approaching a ramp. Before the Nocturne could tell me how to stop, I flew down the ramp and into the abandoned circle. I positioned my body low to the ground on instinct, then looked back to Demyx. He was pointing at something in front of me and yelling, but I couldn't understand him. I turned around, too late, and smacked face first into a brick wall. I fell off and landed on my back, seeing stars.

Demyx ran over to me, panting. "Oh my God, Saïx, are you okay!?"

He was blurry at first. I blinked a few times and giggled. Yes, me, Saïx, the feared second-in-command of Organization XIII, _giggled._ I looked at Demyx and grinned. "That was…fun."

"Uh…Saïx? You okay?" he asked nervously, putting up his fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

I squinted. "Uh…three."

He looked at his fingers. "Okay, but you _giggled_."

I shrugged, which was a bad move. Ow, that hurt. Demyx held out his hand. Wincing, I took it.

"Let's do it again," I begged.

"Uh…that's okay, I think you've done enough," Demyx replied, pausing. "Wanna get some ice cream?"

"Okay."

We sat on the Twilight Town clock tower, looking over the town. I saw like I always to, my legs crossed and one of my hands placed on top of my knee, the other holding the blue ice cream Roxas liked. Demyx looked at me curiously.

"So…what do you like to do? Like, in your spare time?"

"What spare time?" I asked, not looking at him. "Between filing reports, going on missions, and dealing with those idiots twenty-four seven, I barely have time to breathe."

"Oh," he said, looking back to his ice cream. He took a bite out of it.

"What do you like to do?" I asked him.

"Me? Oh, I don't know. I like writing songs, obviously. But I also like water gun fights with Roxas. Axel doesn't like them very much." He laughed, then looked to me. "Have you ever had a water gun fight?"

"Um…" I thought back to my Somebody days. I remember playing video games, hanging out with my friend, but for some reason I don't remember water gun fights. "No, I don't think so."

"Great! Now we have something to do tomorrow!" he said cheerily.

I looked to him and smiled. "Okay. But I'm gonna win." I pointed at myself to prove my point.

He laughed, more loudly this time. When he was finished, he pointed at my ice cream. "Are you gonna eat that or let it melt?"

I examined it thoroughly, but honestly there wasn't anything to examine. I licked it hesitantly. It was sour! I jerked away from it, snarling at it. Then it turned sweet, and my grimace turned into a thoughtful frown.

"Like it?" Demyx asked.

I turned to him and nodded. He grinned, obviously happy about this piece of information. Then he turned to the sunset, still smiling. I looked at the sun as well, wishing there was one in our world as well. Kingdom Hearts was getting rather tiresome.


End file.
